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The Magic in Rosy Cheeks and Rivers
“No, the romance and the beauty were all gone from the river. All the value any feature of it had for me now was the amount of usefulness it could furnish toward compassing the safe piloting of a...
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Living with the guilt
I drove home in tears last night. It was nearing 2 AM, and I was heading home from making an emergency trip to visit my little sister. She needed me, you see, and I couldn’t let her down. As I spoke to...
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1-2-3 Drink
I didn’t mean to be so cold. I didn’t want to be so hurt. I hadn’t always meant to be so cruel. But all of a sudden, it happened. All of it. I was distant, torn apart from the inside, tattered and...
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An Old Journal Entry
As my husband and I were finishing our packing, I found an old journal. It is full of scribbles and screams; it is the dark window into my once aching soul. I sat on my couch, and read through the old...
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The Art of Faking Smiles
I remember lying on my bed, as a teen, dreaming of being a drug addict. I swear I wanted to move into a dumpy apartment building and become addicted to cocaine and be skinny and feel the sweat of...
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please, don’t leave me
i wake up to the back of his neck. i nuzzle my face into his skin and i repeat i need you i need you i need you i stare at the tattoo on his back his hair the way … Continue reading →
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Healing
Sometimes, I miss the cigarettes. I miss the booze. I miss the blade over my skin. Mostly, I miss the avoidance. I could wrap all of my unsettling feelings up with a nice little bow, and pretend they...
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Broken, Healing
There are pieces of me strewn along the office floor. There are parts of me hiding in the drawers of the guest room. Pieces of me hiding under my bed, thrown into the closets, sleeping under my pillow....
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reintroduction.
Let me reintroduce myself. I was scared. But now I am not. I have found a courage that can only be obtained by doing the deep dark scary things I put off for years. I do not fear you anymore. I …...
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Who’s Going to Save Me?
I woke up with the shits, and then had a mental breakdown in the grocery store. There were people everywhere, with their lives together, and all I could do was hide in my husbands chest and wish I...
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Toasters & Bubble Bath’s
i am not as good as you you do everything better i just remembered something there is nothing interesting about me but you you you have the world watching, waiting telling us the hows & whys &...
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Beware The Joker
Careful. You never know when someone unexpected will perform a sleight of hand, and in turn, send you flying hopelessly off into the night sky. Those basic bitches that turn into complicated Jokers,...
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One Day, Maybe I Will Fly
How do you keep your humanity in a world that hurts? Keep rising out of bed, when you don’t know how to stand? Still have hope for the future, with a past full of hate? Sometimes its so hard for …...
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1.
I finally understand. Why I’ve been running all this time, chasing the high. Fighting for freedom. Not wanting to die, but hoping I would. It’s all coming together now. You stole something from me....
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